HARLAN'S STORY.

My journey has not always been the easiest but despite my circumstances, I know now God has a purpose for each of us and he has a purpose for me.

When I was a child, a member of my family abused me. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions & being held accountable, he made the decision to end his life the night before his court date, leaving me without closure and justice. I was just a kid when this happened and felt so scared to tell anyone, so I kept it buried deep down for the longest time. I later found out he was partially responsible for another family members death.

For many years, I struggled with depression. Then when I was 24, my dad passed away. He was my best friend.  After losing my dad, it all became too much, which made things a lot worse for me. I was filled with so much hate. The abuse, hurt, loss and so many grudges made the depression I struggled with become unbearable. I felt hopeless, and came to the place where I thought I only had one way out… so one lonely night, I took my last drink and I tried to end my life. Fortunately, I was unsuccessful in doing so.

I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for help to treat the depression and alcohol abuse.  I spent night after night in a dark room with no TV, no clocks, nothing… I found myself alone, lying in bed in tears talking to God. I couldn’t understand why I was still here.  Why am I still alive?  When I thought all was lost, God came into my life and picked me up. The following Sunday at church, I went up to the pastor and re-dedicated my life to Christ. I handed God everything - the hurt, loss, all the grudges, I forgave those who had wounded me and by giving it all to God, he gave me peace & a freedom that I had never experienced before.

Words cannot express what God has done in my life. Since then, my relationships with my mom and brother have grown so much stronger. He has brought us closer together than I had ever imagined we could be.  My brother and I have obediently followed the Lord’s direction for our lives by becoming involved in AA. I have learned many new things through the program and about having a relationship with God.  

The Lord and Crossroads have taught me a new way to live and a new way to love. I found that through God’s love and faithfully trusting in Him, I am made new and I am made whole.  For that, I am thankful and blessed. 

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